who i am.... who i am not?

when i was crying
i was crying alone
my eyes are burning
my heart is aching
but no one looked into my eyes
no one saw that pain in me

i was falling
fighting
working in humility
to reach a place
to get something
which can make my better

i try to fool myself
or too optimistic to realize
what reality is
my emotions are draining
more than tears
but who cares
no one

it is always me who cares
but i am the one
the fool
who is hurt
and let other hurt me even more

i don't know
what i am doing now
my directions
so i am
no one is their to hold my hand
and who say i am there

my existence does not matter anymore
my presence is not felt anymore
my tears my silent cry
is not heard anymore

who i am
who i am not
does not makes difference
except to me
i am self obsessed
i am trying to figure out things
things which were blurred
are becoming clear

i am what i am
i don't to prove you anymore
i am what i am
i know my stuff
i know my head and heart
though i feel things by heart
head is taking control now

i was fool
but now i am not
you try me
you will get tough me
dare you make me cry
dare you snatch my dreams

you are no where closer to me
i am happy
i don't to hurt my self
i just want to talk about myself

Lost Love and Not A Lasting LOVE

I loved you for the first time
when I never knew what love means to me
I thought, being in love is the most beautiful to happen in life
When everything in the world feel like a blessing
love in life was heart warming
you touched my hand but I felt it in heart



















but I was wrong
I was a fool
who became puppet of yours
you played with my emotions
tears flooded my eyes
more than love in my heart
I was too involved in it to realize
who am I
I lost myself, my love
my perceptions to feel love
my heart is not tender but a stone
who don't want love
I am numb to feel anything
touching my hand has lost its connection to heart
tears hardened into crust, though its itching my eyes
I was happy for a short while
or my dream left it way and became the worst nightmare
My search for myself keep me engage all the time
My pen is sweeping my broken heart
which will heal gradually but with scar
On the way to have loved I lost my own way
or I am rising from the ashes
Yes rising from ashes
no one on earth can make me fall
I am strong enough to deal with my emotions
I don't need support in the form of love
I have no fears to lose anything, I lost it but not again
No hurt, no pain
My heart is meditating to search within
finding connection with god whom I can trust without any fear of losing him.

 

This Post has been Published as a part of

But I love You

I love you
but don't cryif i hurt you
just smile
no matter if your heart weep
i hate tears
i hate to see you in tears
but even if i utter bitter words
may not think of you
may be my ego is my only love
just listen
don't argue
it may hurt my ego
i don't want suggestions
i know what i am doing
i am doing for the best
don't think
just follow,what i say
your existence makes no difference to me
but don't cry
you know i hate tears
but i love you.

Who Am I?

Have you ever been in love?
I have no answers

I never knew what was their in my mind
today also I don't know anything
blank I am
or dumb
I don't know
JUST KNOW THAT i AM AN EMOTIONAL FOOL
always fooled myself



forgot myself
in thinking about others
and
never answered one question
who am I?

This Post has been Published as a part of

Just A Dummy

I am dummy 
just a dummy


I have no rights
no space
just listening to
what you speak


I smile
with tears in my eyes
you saw my smile
my tears are 
just adding glow to my skin


I am dummy
just a dummy.......just a dummy

Limiting Me

standing alone
waiting for good times
smile struck somewhere in between
eyes are losing its moisture

hoping,inspiring myself
diverting mind with distractions
distractions no longer affects me

free soul trapped in responsibilities
forgetting her flying nature


now lines are drawn around me
keep moving towards me
closer and closer
barely got any space

waiting for good times
trying to wipe of those lines
limiting me to be an object.

Prick In Heart

lying in bed with hurt
sleep is cheating on me

spent half the night
with eyes wide opened
prick in heart
was deep inside

numbness was running
through my fingers
grip is becoming loose

tears became cold
head constantly hammered my thoughts

little laziness
could bothered me so much.............

Love is fooling around

love is fooling around
i know
but still pretend to be in love
love is bitter
taste buds disagree with that flavor
but still i accepted that
life's meaning has changed
life is a big compromise
compromising with everything
searching me
who am i
changing so much
never thought this way
earlier i was a free bird
but now i am encaged
in my own thoughts
and in my own world