Lost Love and Not A Lasting LOVE

I loved you for the first time
when I never knew what love means to me
I thought, being in love is the most beautiful to happen in life
When everything in the world feel like a blessing
love in life was heart warming
you touched my hand but I felt it in heart



















but I was wrong
I was a fool
who became puppet of yours
you played with my emotions
tears flooded my eyes
more than love in my heart
I was too involved in it to realize
who am I
I lost myself, my love
my perceptions to feel love
my heart is not tender but a stone
who don't want love
I am numb to feel anything
touching my hand has lost its connection to heart
tears hardened into crust, though its itching my eyes
I was happy for a short while
or my dream left it way and became the worst nightmare
My search for myself keep me engage all the time
My pen is sweeping my broken heart
which will heal gradually but with scar
On the way to have loved I lost my own way
or I am rising from the ashes
Yes rising from ashes
no one on earth can make me fall
I am strong enough to deal with my emotions
I don't need support in the form of love
I have no fears to lose anything, I lost it but not again
No hurt, no pain
My heart is meditating to search within
finding connection with god whom I can trust without any fear of losing him.

 

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But I love You

I love you
but don't cryif i hurt you
just smile
no matter if your heart weep
i hate tears
i hate to see you in tears
but even if i utter bitter words
may not think of you
may be my ego is my only love
just listen
don't argue
it may hurt my ego
i don't want suggestions
i know what i am doing
i am doing for the best
don't think
just follow,what i say
your existence makes no difference to me
but don't cry
you know i hate tears
but i love you.

Who Am I?

Have you ever been in love?
I have no answers

I never knew what was their in my mind
today also I don't know anything
blank I am
or dumb
I don't know
JUST KNOW THAT i AM AN EMOTIONAL FOOL
always fooled myself



forgot myself
in thinking about others
and
never answered one question
who am I?

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Just A Dummy

I am dummy 
just a dummy


I have no rights
no space
just listening to
what you speak


I smile
with tears in my eyes
you saw my smile
my tears are 
just adding glow to my skin


I am dummy
just a dummy.......just a dummy

Waiting for good times

standing alone
waiting for good times

smile struck in between
eyes are losing its moisture

hoping ,inspiring
diverting mind with distractions
distractions no longer affects me

free soul trapped in responsibilities
forgetting her flying nature

now lines drawn around me
keep moving towards me
closer and closer
barely got any space

waiting for good times
trying to wipe off those lines
limiting me to be an object.

Limiting Me

standing alone
waiting for good times
smile struck somewhere in between
eyes are losing its moisture

hoping,inspiring myself
diverting mind with distractions
distractions no longer affects me

free soul trapped in responsibilities
forgetting her flying nature


now lines are drawn around me
keep moving towards me
closer and closer
barely got any space

waiting for good times
trying to wipe of those lines
limiting me to be an object.

Prick In Heart

lying in bed with hurt
sleep is cheating on me

spent half the night
with eyes wide opened
prick in heart
was deep inside

numbness was running
through my fingers
grip is becoming loose

tears became cold
head constantly hammered my thoughts

little laziness
could bothered me so much.............

tears

tears are my story teller
weaving around my eyes
carry so much pain in it

when rolling down through the cheek
washing away the pain

 no one saw my pain,felt my pain
holding it in my eye for so long

now my tear glands losing its strength
my true friends ,my tears leaving me shattered.

Love is fooling around

love is fooling around
i know
but still pretend to be in love
love is bitter
taste buds disagree with that flavor
but still i accepted that
life's meaning has changed
life is a big compromise
compromising with everything
searching me
who am i
changing so much
never thought this way
earlier i was a free bird
but now i am encaged
in my own thoughts
and in my own world

why

why I listened to others so much?
why?
why  always I took the blame?
why?
people say whatever they want to say
why it affect me so much?
why?
life is no more interesting
happiness flying away
why?
why this why is troubling me so much?
why?

Letting Emotions Out

emotions always hurt
proved several times
if I am silent
doesn't mean I am happy
you never looked into my eyes
and never realized
how bad it feel
when you utter bitter words
hurts me
deep inside
make me feel cry
but never let tears to flow weakly
taking support from myself
don't want to lean on any support
after meeting you
never feel like trusting anybody else
hurt is pricking me
tears are sobbing inside my eyes
but it never affected you
how could you be so indifferent
my heart is turning into stone
my emotions are pushing me
to dump my emotions in my blog