who i am.... who i am not?

when i was crying
i was crying alone
my eyes are burning
my heart is aching
but no one looked into my eyes
no one saw that pain in me

i was falling
fighting
working in humility
to reach a place
to get something
which can make my better

i try to fool myself
or too optimistic to realize
what reality is
my emotions are draining
more than tears
but who cares
no one

it is always me who cares
but i am the one
the fool
who is hurt
and let other hurt me even more

i don't know
what i am doing now
my directions
so i am
no one is their to hold my hand
and who say i am there

my existence does not matter anymore
my presence is not felt anymore
my tears my silent cry
is not heard anymore

who i am
who i am not
does not makes difference
except to me
i am self obsessed
i am trying to figure out things
things which were blurred
are becoming clear

i am what i am
i don't to prove you anymore
i am what i am
i know my stuff
i know my head and heart
though i feel things by heart
head is taking control now

i was fool
but now i am not
you try me
you will get tough me
dare you make me cry
dare you snatch my dreams

you are no where closer to me
i am happy
i don't to hurt my self
i just want to talk about myself

If You Love Me

if you love me
love me the way i am
the real me
and not the way you want me

if you trust me
trust me
i will never wrong you
if you don't trust me
it is up to you

if you respect me
respect me as an individual
not because of my achievements
not because of my failure

if you believe me
i am with you
in good and worst condition

if you love me
don't hurt me
to the extent
that it won'theal
but become an ointment on my wound

i am always there with you
walk with me
and i will walk with you lets walk together

don't analyze me don't criticize me
if you can't appreciate me

We Need To Accept The Change

life is not same everytime

time change

feelings change

perceptions change

everything has changed

then why I am the same 

everytime I was wrong

I thought you will understand

but you haven't changed either

I tried my ways

tried to get along with you

but my efforts, it seems

are not making any change

in your life and in my life

instead of love

drift in increasing

drift of misunderstandings

communication has become harder

harder with time

life's meaning has changed

where it is heading

I have no clue 

but one thing I am sure about 

whatever is happening is

happening for good

dreams I had

I never lived

all shattered

eyes are moist

heart is lost

mind keep on disturbing me even more

need sometime of

time to think

why I am weeping

for whom I am worried

who is heartless

but hurt me  everytime

everything has changed

but you are the same

Perhaps I am not the same

for whom you want to be with

Perhaps you are not the one

who can understand me

the way I did

but now I really need a change

I need to accept the change

change in thoughts

change in perceptions

I think I am ready to take this change

because this change will bring a fresh beginning of life

life ...I waited for

I deserve to be appreciated

I deserve to live life my ways

YES I really do

If you really love me

accept the way I am 

Life is not a compromise ..but an adjustment or many adjustments but don't compromise the ''real you'' for it. Live life to grow, live life to improve your vision, do not shrink it to suffocate you.

This post has been written for the Indiblogger contest -  ‘Time to change’ by Stayfree. To see their facebook page, click here. 

Lost Love and Not A Lasting LOVE

I loved you for the first time
when I never knew what love means to me
I thought, being in love is the most beautiful to happen in life
When everything in the world feel like a blessing
love in life was heart warming
you touched my hand but I felt it in heart



















but I was wrong
I was a fool
who became puppet of yours
you played with my emotions
tears flooded my eyes
more than love in my heart
I was too involved in it to realize
who am I
I lost myself, my love
my perceptions to feel love
my heart is not tender but a stone
who don't want love
I am numb to feel anything
touching my hand has lost its connection to heart
tears hardened into crust, though its itching my eyes
I was happy for a short while
or my dream left it way and became the worst nightmare
My search for myself keep me engage all the time
My pen is sweeping my broken heart
which will heal gradually but with scar
On the way to have loved I lost my own way
or I am rising from the ashes
Yes rising from ashes
no one on earth can make me fall
I am strong enough to deal with my emotions
I don't need support in the form of love
I have no fears to lose anything, I lost it but not again
No hurt, no pain
My heart is meditating to search within
finding connection with god whom I can trust without any fear of losing him.

 

This Post has been Published as a part of

But I love You

I love you
but don't cryif i hurt you
just smile
no matter if your heart weep
i hate tears
i hate to see you in tears
but even if i utter bitter words
may not think of you
may be my ego is my only love
just listen
don't argue
it may hurt my ego
i don't want suggestions
i know what i am doing
i am doing for the best
don't think
just follow,what i say
your existence makes no difference to me
but don't cry
you know i hate tears
but i love you.

Who Am I?

Have you ever been in love?
I have no answers

I never knew what was their in my mind
today also I don't know anything
blank I am
or dumb
I don't know
JUST KNOW THAT i AM AN EMOTIONAL FOOL
always fooled myself



forgot myself
in thinking about others
and
never answered one question
who am I?

This Post has been Published as a part of

Just A Dummy

I am dummy 
just a dummy


I have no rights
no space
just listening to
what you speak


I smile
with tears in my eyes
you saw my smile
my tears are 
just adding glow to my skin


I am dummy
just a dummy.......just a dummy